Sometimes you just KNOW.
True love. True friendship. True need to consume ALL of that donut...
For some it is a choice that doesn't need a moments consideration - "duh we are like besties for life, sisters from another mister - we don't do anything without each other....this is my #girlboss pack - sorry babe, i NEED every one of these 19 girls as my bridesmaids..."
For others, it can mean coutless sleepless nights, guilt ridden apologies and stage ten anxiety levels (that's got nothing to do with your 'shreddin for the weddin' lack of food intake crazy fad diet you have started 2 years in advance either by the way)...
You maid choice is one of the most important people choices after your husband. The best advice i ever received from a friend was "you want to look down that aisle, on your big day and not regret a single moment. You want to stand there and KNOW that these girls are there for you.
Did i listen...yes. Was it too late....perhaps for me.. :( but it is the one piece of advice that i tell all my clients if they haven't chosen their bridal party yet.
Here are my top tips for choosing a bridal party that'll blow your socks off (without complaining about their dress choice either...!)
1 Think of YOU: Does she complain about her dress, your flower choice, the 'ugly' groomsman she may be partnered with? Chances are, if you can see your friend doing this - she does not deserve to be up there with you on your special day. Deep down you will know, straight away the must haves. Start with them. Put their names down on paper. Talk to your fiancé. Don't even let the other emotions or family obligations come into it just yet...Hopefully hubby to be will have the same number of people he knows he wants and your quest if over!
2 Kick anxiety to the curb: If you are one to be 'all inclusive' because you don't want to hurt feelings, or 'she asked you to be hers', or she'll crack it, take the path of least resistance. I'd bet you were someone who hurt themselves before they would hurt others...and you know what. Sometimes you may just have to do that. If you look back and go -DAMN, i wish i didn't have her....you can deal with that (that's why we have unreal digital masters and photographers out there who know how to photoshop), what you may not be able to deal with later on, down the track is that awful feeling of not haven a gf in there because it threw out numbers, or if you have her, you have to have them too.
Who cares! The more the merrier!
3 Family Obligation: You may not want your brothers girlfriend or your 3rd cousin up there next to you....chances are, she doesn't want to be up there either! It is a hard convo but one that has to happen early on and be totally honest. Be mindful of their feelings, but be ruthless. Blame numbers, blame friends - do not blame yourself for not choosing them. By the time the big day gets there, she will be more interested in the free booze and selfie station than fixing your train and reapplying your lipgloss!
4 Will you be my... Once you have settled on the who's - the next step is the how's. How will you ask them? How will you let the other down gently?
Big productions are all the rage for revealing to your bridesmaids that they are your chosen ones! Online proposals, secret mail deliveries, long lunches to show how much you love them. You can do any that you wish - the hard part is over, this is now for the fun parts to begin!
Just remember that if there are a few who didn't make the cut and you are afraid of hurting some feelings - make sure you talk to them. The more honest you are, the less they have to be mad at you with. Much like your family members who didn't get a call up - once the festivities are here, the "hurt" will be long forgotten.
5 Finally?? Its your day. Its your wedding. Its your husband and ultimately its for your experience. Be true to yourself. Make sure you are looking down that line at the ladies that make you feel like a #girlboss everyday. Who lift you the highest. And who bring out the best in you. Choose you girls like that, and you won't regret a single moment.